What the Hell Am I Looking At and How Did I Get Here?
Welcome to the first edition of your new third favorite political digest
Ever get through a dense article on policy and precedent and feel like a few years were definitely taken off your life? Or an op-ed that cut straight to the argument at the center of a debate but left you wondering, “Where was the pizzazz in that?”
Hi, I’m Emily and I really like talking about politics. Over the last few years, politics has certainly felt like an on-fire trash can. But I’m here to tell you that politics has always been an ongoing dumpster fire— Gen Z is just finally starting to feel the flames.
I felt as though there needed to be a place where politics are discussed for Gen Z by Gen Z, like a Twitter account with more context. Combining all of my B+’s in history with my passion for watching cable news (yes, even Laura Ingraham), I decided to take one for the team and start a weekly political newsletter.
Now for some FAQs:
What are your political stances?
First and foremost, I will always stand against Ted Cruz’s beard. That belief is central to the woman I am today.
But as for everything else, the quickest way I can convey my personal politics is that if saying “yes” to the question “do you listen to girl in red?” is a good indicator of someone’s sexuality, “I wanted Elizabeth Warren to be the president” is your key to understanding my ideologies.
While I’m obviously going to rely heavily on the facts of a situation as I recount it here, my own politics would still color everything I say even if I tried to compartmentalize. In all honesty, I think we’ll have a little more fun if I do include my personal opinions (like what I truly believe the story is with Matt Gaetz’s magically appearing son, Nestor. More on that later).
Unlike Fox News’s misguided “Fair and Balanced” slogan, I recognize I’m not fair nor balanced; I’m opinionated and kind of a bitch, but at least I have enough of a backbone and a sense of self to own up to that.
What can we expect?
A little bit of everything! Each week, I’ll discuss the biggest national and international news or pop culture occurrence with historical context and a bit of humor (because, as we all know, I’m now funny on Twitter) to break down our news cycle in a way that’s digestible and —dare I say— a little fun.
I’ve noticed that the news is not always covered in articles in a way that is easy to decipher, and “news” on “Twitter” doesn’t always offer the full story. As my hero and hair icon once said: por que no las dos?
If you like what you see, please share this with your friends, family, therapists, and associated acquaintances. (If you like me enough, you’ll make sure to send this to your estranged, reclusive, but wildly rich relatives with a watered-down sense of humor so they’ll find me super funny and really informative and fund my life through this Substack.)
Are you breaking down something today?
No, but stay tuned for my coverage of former President Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial in the U.S. Senate and its E! spin-off, Keeping Up With the Seditionists, later this week. And by E! I do 100% mean me, Emily, who’s very excited to continue making fun of Ted Cruz!
Welcome to the best political party ever thrown. Who knows how this is going to go!
