Emily For President On Trial
The tables have turned, I fear
How do I start this piece in a way that fully encapsulates how I’m feeling right now? Do I catalog the entire range of human emotions I have felt over the past week? Should I walk us point by point through every anxiety I have about our future and its corresponding chapter in the Project 2025 handbook? Can I even put all of my rage into words, or is there a better way to convey how deeply and desperately I want to unhinge my jaw to scream? If so, how do I do that on Substack?
The way I see it, this isn’t 2008 where the Republican candidate, for all of his flaws—including but not limited to foisting Meghan McCain onto us—refused to platform racist rhetoric against his opponent. This isn’t 1892 either, where tariffs were also a lead issue for voters (quelle surprise!) and a former president was re-elected for a non-consecutive second term. This is not just any other election in which one candidate loses and another one wins and we all come back together in four years to do it again.
This, as things are wont to feel whenever Donald Trump is involved, was an unprecedented race with an unprecedented result and now, an uncertain future. I don’t want to fearmonger but I don’t know how to not feel fear when I remember “ending all future elections” was one of his campaign promises. I don’t know how to not feel fear when journalist Jessica Valenti explains the logistics of a national abortion ban and how it would supersede the success of passing Proposition 1 in New York. I don’t know how to not feel fear when I think about my friends and their safety because my vote was never just about or for me.
I feel vengeful and spiteful, then just as quickly energized and absolutely locked in, bro. I have a new purpose and objective here at E4P and feel clearer about what I want to do in our fourth year together than I did last week. But in my worst moments, I have also wondered if I should delete everything I’ve ever written about the pr*sid*nt-*l*ct, lest I become a political enemy down the line. So it’s been a time, to say the least.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next four years and I’m scared to find out. But we’re here now so the least I can do is put out the piece I had planned for today. This week, I flipped the script and asked several of E4P’s most popular and recurring guests to ask me some questions in a messy and meandering thought exercise. It feels like the right piece for these trying times, and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming next week.
And in case anyone in your life or this country has made you feel otherwise this week: I love you and I’m happy you’re here.
What pop icons would you elect on the Supreme Court?
I approached this question from two perspectives, thinking about who would be best for this country as well as my inflated levels of pettiness. I would first nominate Lady Gaga. The way that she investigated January 6th, her ability to effectively communicate through any medium, and the way her mind operates lightyears ahead of us give me hope that she would be both judicious and a menace for bigots to argue before.
Subsequently, I would also nominate Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Martha Stewart. I think if we’re going to have criminals on the SCOTUS, they should at least be fun criminals.
Do you have any interesting facts that have stuck with you?
Honestly, I know it happened relatively recently but I still can’t believe I caught a perfect example proving the need for media literacy as I was writing about the need for media literacy. I know that’s not a cold hard fact but I’ve been thinking about it ever since it happened.
I also love knowing that the marijuana plants that predominantly produce THC are female because getting high now feels like a feminist act.
If you were to run for a real office…a) I would endorse you, but b) what would you want to run for? Why?
I know I’ve been yapping on about the importance of local and state government and why it is essential to vote in every down-ballot race in every election, but I think we’re about to see in the coming years how critical local politics is to the function of our everyday life and our democracy.
With that in mind, if we’re talking about a real office I could run for, I think it would be really fun to serve on the New York City Council. Not only would I find endless ways to be Eric Adams’ worst nightmare, I also think I would bring an Elle Woods sensibility to the Council’s fashion sense. I always planned to live in New York City and now that I’m here, I’m not sure I want to live anywhere else. Like anyone who grew up with a mother addicted to shopping at Home Goods, I want to do what I can to make my home the best and most seasonally decorated it can be.
If we’re talking dream offices, though, I’m a shoo-in for Mayor of Actually We’re Still Working On That-sville. Friends love her, waitstaff fear her.
As you look back on 2024, what do you feel proudest of? (Not E4P specifically, just in general.)
Just as social media isn’t real life, neither is Substack. I had a conversation recently with my therapist during which I said that I think this year might be the hardest year of my life. I felt as dramatic saying it then as I do right now, especially given that by most external metrics, I’ve had a really good year.
The reason why I think this year has felt so challenging is because of how much work I’ve tried to put into myself throughout it (the keyword being tried). It’s not particularly comfortable to unpack limiting self-beliefs or receive a new mental health diagnosis or add cottage cheese to all of your favorite foods to make sure you’re eating enough protein. Maybe one day I’ll feel comfortable writing more about it on the internet, or maybe this is a conversation always meant to stay between me and a paid professional.
In any case, I’m really proud of myself for at least wanting to be a better person. As we found out this past week, not everyone can say that.
Do you think E4P has made you a more informed citizen, and, more generally, does it affect which current events/news stories/issues you follow?
I’ve answered a version of this question in several conversations over this past week, given the nature of what I do here as well as all of the punditry done about non-college-educated voters. If you’re already over this piece, the short answer is a very enthusiastic yes.
I can confidently say that most of the information I know that makes me an “educated” American citizen was not learned in a classroom and has had nothing to do with my degree. Obviously, the bulk of this research has been done in pursuit of building E4P pieces—I think it would be crazy if I said I’ve learned nothing new over the four years that I’ve been doing this.
But I think the degree to which I’ve become a better-informed citizen through independent research reveals something that I’ve been arguing in this very newsletter for a while: our education system, by and large, does not work for the greater good of the American people. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there have been children left behind.
By the way: this is not to fault or say ANYTHING derogatory about teachers who I think are stronger than the Marines. This is, however, a statement meant to prime us for a piece I’ve wanted to write here for a minute about the influence of the Cold War on how our country approaches education.
To answer the second part of the question, it has very clearly affected which stories I follow because I now want to follow everything. There are so many things we’ve talked about here that I covered explicitly because it was a front-page headline, but there have been so many installments borne from me thinking someone was incredibly cool or informed or uniquely positioned to tell a story I was not.
There are so many things that I have learned from working on this project that I wish I had learned far sooner but I think the most important lesson has been that education is a journey without a destination. Becoming a more informed citizen has made me a more empathetic one as well, which is why I hope I never stop learning new things.
What would you go back and tell the Emily who existed just before launching E4P?
I hope what I’m feeling right now is how each guest feels when I ask them a really good question. But, at the same time, oh my god?? How do I respond to this???
I guess I would keep it brief for you all and for her: you made the right call by trusting your gut and not getting into investigative journalism; you’re about to reconnect with incredible people from high school and college, some of whom will become great friends; people are going to care about Roy Cohn, but not for the reasons you think; and, I am so sorry to tell you this, but you were wrong about Ben Affleck.
Things are going to get really good, then really bad, then really good again, and you’re going to be so grateful to have a place to talk through your thoughts with people who care to listen. Also, you need to save money NOW for a multi-year Taylor Swift world tour—do with that what you will!!!!!
What would you do with money from the Turkish government?
I would fund the New York Public Library, the Library of Alexandria of America.
